I feel like a 13-year-old girl, but the only fitting way to start this article is with the cyber world's classic abbreviation: LOL.
Hurricane Chris is currently trending on Twitter. I repeat: Hurricane Chris is currently trending on Twitter. Do you guys remember Hurricane Chris? No, not a disastrous weather event—the rapper. Oh, you don’t? Well, don’t embarrassedly hang your head in shame and exchange your Hip Hop patronage for a country music allegiance—please, don’t ever do that. The last time Hurricane Chris was relevant was around the time the Virginia Tech shootings transpired; George W. Bush was still in the White House, and the iPhone was just announced.
Yes, it’s been some time since Hurricane Chris rocked the Hip Hop world with his one-hit wonder, “A Bay Bay.” At its heart, the song is stupider than me beginning this article with “LOL,” but goddam, that track is catchy. “White folks gangstas and the thugs (a bay bay).” How could you not have that hook stuck in your head? This might be the first rap song that I can actually personally relate to—I’M A WHITE FOLK! But time hasn’t been kind to Chris (his hairline is retreating faster than Lebron’s), and like so many one-hit wonders before him, Chris fizzled out as quickly as he arrived on the scene. Which begs the perplexing question: Why is Hurricane Chris tending on Twitter?
Recently, Kodak Black took aim at Lil Wayne, telling the NOLA legend that he could, “eat his ass.” In addition to requesting analingus from Weezy, Kodak also tweeted that Lil Wayne is not the best rapper alive—Black is. I think every Golden Age era advocate and sensible Hip Hop fan just vomited and cracked up simultaneously, making for quite the messy puke trajectory. I'm not saying Kodak is bad or anything—I fuck with some of his work. I'm just saying to claim that you're the greatest is ignorant and deplorable. Social media has elevated our society in numerous ways, but it’s casted equally bastardizing effects. Giving Kodak Black a platform to say he’s better than the mixtape legend himself is case and point. A majority of the Hip Hop community didn’t give Kodak the satisfaction of entertaining his stupidity, and instead dismissed the black Maggie Simpson’s slander. Everyone except Hurricane Chris, of course.
Taking to social media to voice his disdain towards Black while defending Weezy, Hurricane stated, “You play with my people and Imma break your jaw…It’s going down just like that, and you know who I'm talking to.” While arching one eyebrow, accented by a Hot Topic-esque piercing, he continued his video threat by telling Kodak how nice his "hand game” is, and welcomed a bout of fisticuffs. The rest of the video is borderline indecipherable, and reminds fans why he flamed out as quickly as he did. We can only hope the same thing happens to Kodak Black.
While I would love to think that Hurricane Chris is simply a good friend who has his boy's back, he’s not—he has ulterior motives. The Louisiana rapper is dropping a project soon, King Cane, and it’s not too unrealistic to think that he defended Wayne’s honor as a marketing effort, and to reintroduce himself to the music world. It’s not a ridiculous promotional effort, considering that most rappers today are threatening retirement to promote upcoming projects. *Cough, Lupe, Cough.*
I would say go stream King Cane, when it drops, but I never support music I don’t believe in, and I wouldn’t want to steer you guys off a cliff. But, if you’re dying to hear him attempt to rekindle his former flame, the album is scheduled to drop March 7th. Godspeed potential listeners.